How Skilled Are You At Conflict Resolution?

We experience conflicts with allies and adversaries - for good and bad reasons. Ultimately, they are caused by conflicting perspectives. But since diverse perspectives are a hallmark of healthy organizations, every leader needs well-developed conflict resolution skills.

Here are 20 tips for mastering “The Art of Conflict Resolution.”

1. Apologize when you’re wrong

2. Be fair and polite, it will disarm most conflicts

3. Exercise self-control and goodwill

4. Demonstrate integrity – it builds trust

5. Explain the context, justification and motives for your perspectives

6. Seek areas of common ground – it shows you can agree on something

7. Communicate thoughtfully – you’re navigating a minefield

8. Validate the other persons right to their perspectives

9. Listen, not just to what they say, but to why they're saying it

10. Don’t take the “escalation bait” when others set the trap

11. Keep your eye on your prize

12. Employ all forms of deescalating tactics

13. Focus on issues, not personalities

14. Avoid the word, “you”, instead use “your position”

15. Allow others to save face - it makes it much easier for them to agree with you

16. Don’t seek revenge, or give others cause to seek it

17. Agree to respectfully coexist

18. Strive for win/win results

19. Draw distinctions between people’s “stated demands” and their “interests” that drive those demands. Their “interests” can often be satisfied in ways other than agreeing to their “stated demands”

20. Conduct yourself as if adversaries will one day be allies